The author Fran Lebowitz features in a new Netflix special called Pretend It’s a City. She’s acerbic and sardonic, and throughout the short series she is interviewed by Martin Scorsese to whom she spits observations about New York and feminism and whatever else she can think of. In one of the interviews she recounts a story from her childhood. Nine year-old Lebowitz was around at her friend’s house, just hanging around and playing as children do. While she was there, her friend’s Father came home and announced that he had received a raise! He was going to be bringing home an extra $50 a week. This was the late fifties, so it was a lot of extra money. The family was excited – there was much rejoicing as they celebrated their good fortune. Little Fran went home and, as children do, she recounted this story to her Mother. ‘Janie’s Dad got a raise. He’ll be earning an extra fifty dollars a week. They’re so excited!’.
And her Mother slapped her across the face. ‘We do not. Discuss. Money. In this house.’
Fran goes on to explain how this particular experience, and the set of assumptions that accompanied it, means that even today at age 70 she is deeply uncomfortable talking about money with anyone. She recalls her accountant asking her once how much she had made for a speaking engagement and she responded ‘I don’t see how that’s any of your business’.
I wonder, what was the attitude to money in your home when you were a child? Was it a topic that provoked anxiety? Was there a matter of fact, dollars and cents approach in your household, when it came to what could be afforded? Did your parents or carers spend freely or even frivolously, or were they cautious about every cent?
I remember when I was about 17 and applying for university scholarships. The forms all required me to fill in a short section about my parent’s income. So I approached my parents to find out what to put there. They were quite taken aback. It was one thing to tell the tax office about your earnings, but why did these universities need to know? In the end, after some hushed and harried conversations, the figures were written down on a piece of paper and slid across the table. You probably have some similar stories about your family of origin and their relationship with money – and sometimes it’s not until someone dies that you discover that they were much richer than you thought, or much poorer than you imagined.
Each year in this parish, in the few weeks before Lent, we take some time to reflect on our relationship with money, and to consider our commitment to giving some of that money away – both to the work of this parish and to other important needs. If you’re on the mailing list, in the next couple of weeks you’ll get a letter and the perennial yellow form. The yellow form is important, because it helps Parish Council plan our budget in such a way that we’re not going to send the parish broke. Those little yellow forms also help us to be efficient, because if we spend a bit of time ensuring that we are financially sustainable then we can spend most of our time and energy on our core business.
But this annual season about planning giving isn’t just pragmatic. Alongside the practical reality of making a financial commitment to God’s mission in this parish, it’s also spiritually important to talk about money. If we are to have a mature faith, it means that along the way we have to deal with our relationship with money. So why do we have to talk about money?
Firstly, because Jesus did. As we read the gospels, Jesus talks about money all the time – even when it’s not explicit. Even warm, snugly stories like the parable of the Good Shepherd involve money – those sheep all produce income and the shepherd has to be paid. The Parable of the Sower – someone bought the seed, owns the land and pays the sower. No one can serve two masters, where your treasure is there your heart will be also, sell your possessions and give to the poor, estimate the cost of the tower before you build – on and on and on, money is on every page. If we are to be serious followers of Jesus, then it’s not just our hearts that need converting, but our wallets, bank accounts and assets that get converted as well.
Secondly, we have to talk about money because it is a major cause of sin. Now, there’s the obvious sin here – greed. Most of us like things and stuff, and we like to get more things and stuff, and sometimes acquisition and accumulation become an end in themselves. There’s science about this, of course. The body releases dopamine when you give yourself a reward, whether it’s a piece of chocolate or a Lamborghini. We like that feeling of being rewarded, whether we particularly deserve it or not, so buying things is a quick pathway to a short burst of happiness. But there are more insidious ways that our relationship with money leads us into sin. The prospect of money can make us do things that are harmful to others or ourselves or the planet – many of us have been in situations where we just go along with something because we need to keep earning a living, or where we cut corner to save money, even though we know someone else has to suffer as a result. And our relationship with money can destroy relationships and friendships. They say you should never lend money to friends, and we’ve probably all seen what can happen when a couple have different ideas about how to spend money. Talking about money, openly and honestly, isn’t a cure-all, but it is a way that we can be alert to the dangers and temptations set before us, and it can help us to repent and, with God’s help, embrace healthier ways of being.
Thirdly, we need to talk about our relationship with money because it is a major source of blessing. Most of us, including me, spend far more than we need to. We have far, far more than we need to survive, and quite a lot more than we need to be happy. With our excess, after we’ve provided for the basics, we can do really nice things. Yummy dinners and relaxing holidays, nice pieces of art and furniture, perhaps a jetski or a campervan or something help enjoy the outdoors. Let’s not be ashamed that we enjoy good and beautiful things. They are blessings which come from God’s abundance. But for Christians, with our excess, we also love to share that goodness with others. We give to help prevent malaria or start small businesses for people in developing economies. We give to provide places of sanctuary and beauty like this building. We give to feed those who are hungry and to help children grow in secure and loving care. And we give to provide access to the life-giving story, so that others can come to know the just and loving God revealed in Jesus.
I suspect that many of us, like Fran Lebowitz, live with a fear that, if we talk about money openly, someone will slap us across the face. But that’s not what we’re on about around here. Our culture must be that we can have serious and honest conversations with one another about what money means to us, what we do with our money, how money causes us to sin, and how money provides us with blessings. As we find the courage to talk about money, God changes our hearts so that we turn away from sin and towards blessing. It’s awkward and uncomfortable, but honestly what aspect of this journey isn’t?